Launch a Blog. Done. Well, not specifically for this project, but I have one. Well, my husband and I have one. Well wait, I am the one that contributes to the blog the most so I guess it's mine.
As much as I've tried to get my husband to post, he really hasn't... even though it was his idea! Thanks to the Happiness Project though, I know that I can't change him, or nag him. See, I'm learning! What the Happiness Project has helped me do is make it OK for me, and just me, to write in this blog. I've always loved writing and I like to think that I'm good at it. I'm opinionated and I love to express it. Writing is a great outlet to do so. So I dump here and not on my husband, how's that? Heck, you should read my Yelp! reviews. Ha. My husband is an amazing writer. He spun amazing love letters, er, emails to me when we were first dating that I still have today, but you can't make someone do something that they don't want to do, right? Right. And so... I write. And I have found a reason to do so again.
Enjoy the Fun of Failure. Rubin says in order to have more success, she needed to be willing to accept more failure, then quoted Robert Browning -- “Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp, or what’s a heaven for?” - Robert Browning All I can say is, OK. I'll try.
Ask for Help. See answer above.
Work Smart. See answer above.
Enjoy Now. I couldn't agree more. And it's definitely something I do need to learn how to do better. I truly believe in what Rubin's research found about the "arrival fallacy" - when you anticipate great happiness in arrival and when you arrive it rarely makes you as happy as you anticipate.
Rubin says it's because your arrival brings more work and responsibility, like having a baby, getting a promotion or buying a house. I can site many of those milestones in life that disappointed. My prom, for instance. All that hype and I came away feeling gyped. What happened to that fuzzy, glowy, magical, fairytale-like effect you see on TV? Another poignant moment that was a let down was when I bought my first car. I remember driving it off the lot and I wasn't the least bit elated, I felt incredible burden, fear, and responsibility. What if I got into a car accident as soon as I got on the freeway? I have to make monthly car payments for the next five years? College graduation in real life is also not as it is on TV. Literally no pomp and circumstance AND the announcer pronounced my name wrong. Bitch. kidding.
With such early milestones that have been a letdown in my life, I faced other big lifetime moments with apprehension. My strategy has never to expect too much so you won't be disappointed. That way of thinking is a defense mechanism that applies to not just lifetime milestones, but to every day things like work. I used to be a wedding planner as a side gig. I absolutely loved the end result, which was a happy couple on their special day.They're happy, I'm happy. But since doing events for a living, it's been a burden. As Rubin says in her book, there is too much concern about whether she was getting praise or blame, too much anticipatory anxiety about what people would say -- all those fears spoiled Rubin and also my ability to just enjoy the now. I can think of only one work-related event that I organized that I literally jumped up for joy because it was a success and that was planning Bob Bates' 70th Surprise Birthday Party. Once again, I saw the happy results in the end.
Not ever lifetime milestone in my life failed in its delivery. I was definitely afraid that THE one lifetime milestone that almost every girl dreams about would also not live up to the hype...but it did. My wedding. It was exactly all that. It was the happiest day of my life.
Here's to many more of those moments by enjoying now.
